Why I'm Always Late

I’m perpetually late.  I really try not to be and I didn’t used to be this way, but part of what happened when I became a parent was that I became late.  It happened with my first daughter, then as she got older, we got somewhat better about it.  Then along came the new boy and here I am again.  Late.  Sometimes really late.

I know that people like to judge new parents for everything.  And I know that people roll their eyes when you try to say, “But the baby…”  Somehow there’s a myth (yes, myth) making the rounds that if you’re just organized enough that somehow you can always be on time with a baby.  I’m sure there are people who prioritize being on time over everything else that can happen or who happen to have babies whose behaviours won’t jeopardize the attempt to be on time each and every time.

I’m not like that.  Nor are many of the people I know.  You see, the following is actually what happened to me the other day as I was heading out to meet up with friends and I hope it can help you better understand why we're late.

Plan: Leave house at 2pm for meet-up

1:15pm Start getting ready.  Get baby boy changed, get big girl up to get changed after lunch.  Big girl announces I must look at several outfit options before she will pick one.  Picks whichever one she wants anyway.  My input be damned.  I manage to get myself dressed into appropriate attire as well.

1:40pm Breastfeed little boy so that he doesn’t scream blue murder from hunger while on our way to meet-up.  When hungry, little boy will not tolerate anything other than stopping to feed and the cries are of epic proportions.  Would nurse him in wrap but he doesn’t always go for that so better to try and get the feed in first.  Change diaper for good measure just to make sure all is good.

1:52pm Big girl into shoes and coat.  Little boy into snuggly and Ella Roo wrap.  Grab backpack and start looking for keys.  Where are keys?

2:05pm Only 5 minutes late, but keys found.  Doing very well and very proud of self for possibly being close to on time.

Wait… hear noise that sounds like farting.  Big girl not farting.  Look at little boy.  Crap.  Literally. 

Little boy making poo face.  Know that said little boy has a unique tendency to poo so much that he leaks everywhere.  Not carrying little boy in nice wrap to arrive with him poo-smeared and it all over wrap, snuggly, and quite possibly me. 

Head upstairs to get him changed.

2:15pm Boy cleaned and in new outfit.  Head down to get back into snuggly and wrap.

2:23pm In snuggly and wrap with backpack on, keys in hand.

“I’m hungry!” says Big Girl.  “But you just ate!” says frazzled Mom while also realizing she seems to have grown considerably since the day before and that technically it’s no longer “just” as it was over an hour ago.  “I know, but I’m hungry.”

Briefly debate the pros and cons of quick bar-type snack versus something considerably healthier and opt for bar-type snack given state of lateness.

2:28pm Open door and head out.  One hour and 13 minutes after I began getting ready.

I don’t mean to make you wait.  I don’t mean to be late all the time.  It’s not that I don’t value your time.  I just value not being covered poo more.